Introducing the first (but certainly not the last) Insert Brand Name Here themed mixtape!

I wanted to post this days ago, however my busy professional schedule and the sheer insanity of my social life prevented me from doing just that. Anyway, this post contains the very first Insert Brand Name Here mixtape. Now I know that around Christmas I posted a two volume Christmas mixtape, however I'm not counting that one for two reasons. First reason: you couldn't download it, which I know is just completely lame. Second reason: it wasn't an official part of the new revamped IBNH collaboration between me and my good friend Koz. Enough with the legalities and on to the mixtape. After some debating as to what the theme to this mixtape was going be we finally decided on...silly songs. Silly songs, are generally songs that I find particularly amusing. I find that no matter what mood I'm in, I can play one of these tunes and instantly put a smile on my face.

1. Ben Folds - Bitches Ain't Shit - the geektastic Ben Folds covers Dr. Dre, complete with stirring piano melody. Give me one good reason as to why you wouldn't download this track.
2. Cansei de ser Sexy - Music is My Hot, Hot Sex - this song is pure pop bliss. It's undeniably catchy and the lyrics are so absurd they actually make some kind of sense.
3. LCD Soundsystem - Daft Punk is Playing at my House - LCD Soundsystem is straight-up New York underground disco. And they're singing about Daft Punk. Playing at their house no less.
4. Feist - Mushaboom - Kozma and I both really like this song. It's hard to explain what makes it so charming and endearing. Just download and find out for yourself.
5. Blur - Crazy Beat - Blur consistently puts out great music while managing to change their sound with every album. This song generally puts a smile on my face because it is incredibly infectious and the chorus is complete with what sounds like Daffy Duck on ecstasy.
6. Ratatat - Wildcat - this track is off of the upcoming album from Ratatat entitled Classics. Like most Ratatat songs the song is good, and supplies the aforementioned good in perfectly delivered ass shaking beats. Oh yeah, it also contains samples of a cougar.
7. Lovage - Stroker Ace - this tune is off the album Nathaniel Merriweather presents...Lovage, music to make love to your old lady by. Just the name of the album makes me giggle.
8. Presidents of the USA - Peaches - if you don't know this song already...remember the video? With the ninjas!
9. Mates of State - Goods - pretty much anything that Mates of State has put out has successfully made me jump with glee. I mean seriously how could you not?
10. The Koreans - Keep Me In Your Mind - Entourage fans will surely recognize this catchy tune from the episode entitled Crash and Burn.
11. Teddybears Stockholme feat. Mad Cobra - Cobrastyle - I know I already posted this one but how could I not post a song by a group who calls themselves Teddybears Stockholme feat. Mad Cobra?
12. Chromeo - Needy Girl - I know I posted this one already too, but this song is not only catchy and amusin, but it features some downright genius lyrics.

Everybody else is doing it, so why can't we?

I would like to announce my new partner in this little blog venture of mine. He's a hip cat that goes by the name of Kozma or G with a Jeff or whatever. It doesn't really matter what his name is, all that you have to know is that he'll be posting good stuff and that's all that really matters. For today I figured I would start out with a list. A list that could possibly prevent domestic disputes with your significant other, or at least put it off until you do something stupid. How is this "list" going to do that you might be asking yourself. Well let me explain. We're all familiar with the following scenario, you and your girlfriend plan to watch a movie together. That's all well and good, but when she enthusiastically jumps for something like Sweet Home Alabama or some lame Julia Roberts vehicle like Runaway Bride or (God forbid) Mystic Pizza while you on the other hand are holding an incredibly misogynistic film like American Psycho or some generic blow 'em up action film where the body count is well over 50 like Rambo: First Blood Part II, one of you will end up watching the complete antithesis of what you orignally wanted to watch. But it doesn't have to be that way. Introducing the perfect date movies.

1. High Fidelity - This movie has it all. It's funny and witty and is full of pop culture references. Guys love it for the tunes, Jack Black, and because they can relate to John Cusack's average joe character. Girls will love it for Cusack's charm, and Jack Black.
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - This film is just surreal. The imagery is awesome and the script is fantastically awesome. It's perfectly cast and it will have your girlfriend saying "awww" more times than you can count.
3. Rushmore - You might be saying to yourself, whoa wait a second, Wes Anderson? Yes, Wes Anderon's best film is on this list because it's Wes Anderson and his movies are as enjoyable as they are quirky, the cast is awesome, and it's centered around a solid story that will tug the heartstrings.
4. A Life Less Ordinary - Not the greatest flick in the world but it has its moments. Ewan McGregor is in full swing here, playing a character thats a little more upbeat than the junkie he plays so brilliantly in Danny Boyle's masterpiece Trainspotting. The film has a weird story that will keep you interested and the chemistry between McGregor and Cameron Diaz is there.
5. The Beach - It stars Leonardo DiCaprio and it's more bearable than Titanic.
6. The Princess Bride - The tagline to this movie is "Scaling the cliffs of Insanity, battling rodents of unusual size, facing torture in the Pit of Despair, true love has never been a snap." Who's not sold?
7. Pirates of the Caribbean - For the girls: Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp. For the guys: Keira Knightley in a corset and an army of homicidal undead pirates.
8. Natural Born Killers - It's a love story written by Quentin Tarantino. I mean there has to be a pretty strong bond between Mickey and Mallory Knox if they can savagely beat and drown Mallory's sexually abusive father and then tie her mother to her bed and burn her alive, right?

And finally some MP3's
Stellastarr - My Coco
The Libertines - Can't Stand Me Now
Editors - Lights
The Stone Roses - I Wanna be Adored
Sigur Ros - Saeglopur
Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees
Teddybears Stockholme feat. Mad Cobra - Cobrastyle

I'm a psychedelic warrior who believes in UFOs and God

So the new Flaming Lips disc is pretty good. Pirates of the Carribbean 2: Dead Mans Chest was also pretty good for only half a movie (Can't wait to see The Descent though). Keeping it short today for reasons relatively unknown (although I will admit that it does have something to do with the fact that I am ridiculously lethargic today). With that being said, on to the fun stuff you can click on!

Every South Park episode ever. Seriously.

The first 24 minutes of A Scanner Darkly. You can thank me later.

What do you do when you have $50 million? You exact revenge on every person who has ever done you wrong. But how do I do that you might ask. Let Dave Chappelle teach you.

MP3s:

Camera Obscura - Lloyd, I'm Ready to be Heartbroken
The Killers - When You Were Young (demo of new track off of upcoming sophmore album, not very impressive but worth a listen if you're curious)
Radiohead - Where I End & You Begin (The Sky is Falling In)
Placebo - Meds
Placebo - Infra-Red
Camera Obscura - Teenager
And finally what promises to be the sleeper hit of the summer, that is, if anyone actually hears this song (I was sick of Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy" about two months ago) Chromeo - Needy Girl

Clever titles are so last summer...

Considering I just spent the last three hours scouring the internet for interesting articles, games, etc. I'm going to keep this short, but very, very sweet. Just make sure you click on everything below so that I know my hard work isn't squandered into obscurity.

The Ten People You Meet In Every College Dorm

Eleven Horror Movies that are so bad, they're good!

A Comprehensive List of Problems Solved by Macgyver

I'm not entirely sure that this insanely stupid product is genuinely marketable, but you can judge for yourself.

Sarah Silverman singing her uplifting and rather soothing song, "You're Going to Die Soon" to a bunch of elderly folks.

The Best of Ari Gold (do I need to explain?)

Wonder Showzen seeks to explain some of life's greatest mysteries. Today's episode, What is Heaven?

Finally some super sweet mp3s that are totally hot right now
Wolfmother - Dimension
Wolfmother - Woman
The Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist
Oasis - Fucking in the Bushes
Ocean Colour Scene - Hundred Mile Highway
Elastica - 2:1
Underworld - Born Slippy
Blur - Sing

Incoherent rambling and a picture that has nothing to do with anything

The United States is out of the World Cup. Oh well. There's still a whole bunch of other countries I've never heard of vying for the prize! Go Paraguay! Anyway, so I was sitting around my house earlier today watching the History Channel. Normally I wouldn't have minded watching the History Channel for any period of time but for some reason their 2 hour long snore fest that is "The History of European Revolvers" just wasn't cutting it. Don't get me wrong, guns are cool, I'm not some crazy leftist liberal hippie or something, although I am a registered Democrat. Anyway, what I'm trying to get at is that this particular program was boring. I ended up popping in the new unrated version of The Hills Have Eyes that just came out on DVD and it was considerably more gruesome than the theatrical version, which enhanced my overall viewing experience. To tell you the truth, I actually liked the remake more so than the original. After that I got bored again and so now here I am, talking to whoever out there who has enough time to waste at this site.

And now...fun things to click on!

Watch the weird ressurrection of a goldfish hint: you have to click on the one entitled "goldfish" once you get to the site. And here I thought Mountain Dew was only good if you were planning on jumping out of a plane or hitching a ride on a shark or something else equally extreme.

Funny, yet strangley offensive Volkswagon commercial (Thanks to Kozma for finding that little gem)

Presenting the 50 worst video game names ever

And finally...I'm fairly certain that Wonder Showzen is the only show capable of having a skit where God can blow his head off with a shotgun and that's not even the most disturbing part of the sketch.

World Cup Craziness!

Okay, so I've been away for quite some time now I know, but it's okay because the World Cup is here and as some of you may already know, I am no fan of soccer (or football if you will), however one cannot possibly deny the worldwide popularity of the sport. With team names like the Socceroos (Austrailia), the appeal is quite obvious. Oh, did I mention that the devotees of this sport are extremely attractive?

Bonus: A few Placebo albums and b-sides can be found here
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium can be found here
Snow Patrol - Final Straw can be acquired with ease here

Holiday Mixtape Vol. 2

I Want You to Spend A Lot to Prove You Love Your Family: Holiday Mixtape Vol. 2 is here and it is a welcome addition to Vol. 1. There is a Vol. 3 in the works, however I don't know if I'll finish it in time for Christmas what with finals and everything, but who knows. Anyway here is the tracklist for Vol. 2:

1. Sufjan Stevens – Angels We Have Heard on High
2. The Dandy Warhols – Little Drummer Boy
3. Jack Johnson – Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
4. Jimmy Eat World – Last Christmas
5. Snowden – White Christmas
6. Ryan Adams – Hey Parker, It’s Christmas
7. Low - Just Like Christmas
8. Leona Naess - Christmas
9. Pearl Jam – Someday at Christmas
10. My Chemical Romance – All I Want for Christmas
11. The Winter Blanket – What I Want
12. The Ramones – Merry Christmas
13. Phantom Planet – Winter Wonderland
14. Johnny Cash – Silent Night
15. The Smashing Pumpkins – Christmastime
16. Snow Patrol – When I Get Home for Christmas
17. The Eels – Everything’s Gonna Be Cool This Christmas
18. The Winter Blanket – I’ll Be Home for Christmas
19. The Flaming Lips – Christmas at the Zoo
20. Weezer – The Christmas Song
21. Sufjan Stevens – Lo, How a Rose E’re Blooming
22. The Ravonettes – The Christmas Song
23. John Ondrasik – Happy X-mas (War is Over)
24. Death Cab for Cutie – The New Year
25. Nichole & the Dreamcatchers – Santa is the Greatest

Yeah, you know you want a copy.

Me, White Noise

I'm sitting here at my computer completely disgusted with the massive amount of work that I have in front of me. Procrastination is not my friend yet I embrace it like the wanting summer breeze caressing a gentle maidens bosom (I'm not even sure what I'm talking about so dont ask). I need a vacation really bad, wait, I just came back from one. Another would be nice though. Pictures from my trip to Aruba are up on my Facebook page so feel free to check them out and become envious. Finally finished my Holiday Mixtape (or Holla day Mixtape as it's known on the streets) and believe me it's good. I am no longer calling it the Christmas Mixtape, as it may be deemed discriminatory towards our Kwanza and Festival of Lights celebrating brethren, the tracklist is as follows:

1. Coldplay - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
2. Sufjan Stevens - Come On! Let's All Boogie to the Elf Dance!
3. Arcade Fire - Jinglebell Rock
4. Death Cab for Cutie - Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)
5. The Flaming Lips - A Change at Christmas (Say It Isn't So)
6. David Gray - December
7. Local H - Disgruntled Christmas
8. The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping
9. Radiohead - Winter Wonderland
10. Coldplay - 2000 Miles
11. The Polyphonic Spree - Little Drummer Boy
12. Feist - Lo, How a Rose E're Blooming
13. Pas-Cal - Last Christmas
14. Sufjan Stevens - That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!
15. The Walkmen - Christmas Party
16. The Polyphonic Spree - Happy X-mas (War is Over)
17. Dave Matthews Band - Christmas Song
18. Trans Siberian Orchestra - Christmas Eve

You are all going to thank me for all of this free music I scoured the web for:

Download tons of David Gray live, rare and B-side mp3s, as well as videos

Download a whole bunch of Damon Albarn mp3s (check out the rare Blur tracks towards the bottom of the page)

Download three live Radiohead shows

Download a whole bunch of live and rare Neutral Milk Hotel mp3s

Download tons of Sublime bootlegs

Holy shit! Squirrels kill a dog. Squirrels. Fucking killed a dog. Anyone I have ever told the story about how the squirrels killed my pet turtle and doubted me, well here is your proof.

Okay, so I recently got back from Aruba, where I (possibly) broke a rib or two and fucked up my foot pretty bad (it's all purple and swollen and shit), but I'm not going to let potentially serious bodily injuries keep me down. You can head over to my Facebook page (yea, I know it's gay, but I got sucked in just like the rest of you) to check out photos from my trip...they're not up yet but they will be soon I promise. Anyway...if you're wondering why that dog is up there it's because I've selected three new tracks for my holiday mixtape and they are: The Flaming Lips - A Change at Christmas (Say it isn't so), Coldplay - 2000 miles and finally Local H - Disgruntled Christmas

It's (Almost) Christmas Time, Bitches

I know Christmas isn't for another month or so, but I have begun working on my (soon to be) infamous underground Christmas mixtape. Those of you who are going to get a copy already know who you are, and if you're reading this wondering what the hell I'm talking about, well then you're probably not going to get a copy (unless you ask me really nicely). Anyway, here's the (tenative) tracklist, which is most certainly subject to change. The tracks here aren't listed in any particular order as of yet.

1. Coldplay - Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas
2. Radiohead - Winter Wonderland
3. Sufjan Stevens - Come On! Let's All Boogie to the Elf Dance!
4. Feist - Lo, How a Rose E're Blooming
5. Polyphonic Spree - Little Drummer Boy
6. Death Cab for Cutie - Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)
7. The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping
8. Polyphonic Spree - Happy Christmas (War Is Over)
9. The Walkmen - Christmas Party
10. Sufjan Stevens - That Was the Worst Christmas Ever
11. Trans Siberian Orchestra - Christmas Eve
12. Arcade Fire - Jinglebell Rock
13. Dave Matthews Band - Christmas Song

And I'm debating whether or not I should include Paul McCartney's "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time" because I think that it is easily hands down, the worst Christmas song ever recorded, possibly the worst song ever. Let me know your thoughts on including that little gem.

Yes, after a long hiatus, I am back. Rejoice.

I haven't posted anything on here in a really long time. Too long of a time if you ask me. but I am back. I can rattle off a bunch of excuses as to why I stopped posting, but I'm not going to bother with that bullshit. I'll just tell you the truth. I'm a fucking lazy bastard. Sorry. Anyway, lots of interesting bits of music news. Read about them all.

Damon Albarn confirms new Blur EP How excited am I?

Liam Gallagher is such a prick. I love it. His take on Bloc Party

I cannot wait for the new Radiohead album

Yes the increasingly shitty weather has made me even more depressed than I already am. Go here to download a 25 song "Rainy Day" mix

By the way, have any of you noticed that the new Strokes album is leakier than a baby's bladder? From what I've heard it sounds like it's going to be a solid album.

My new self-appointed nickname is Optimus Prime, you son of a B!

Well hello again. As the title says I have renamed myself Optimus Prime. Don't ask any questions you know it's badass. I was thinking asbout Cobra Commander but it just didn't seem as cool as Optimus Prime. Anyway, it seems as though I have fallen off a bit in terms of posting on a regular basis however I do have a plausible excuse. I am going to keep it short and sweet today, with just a few links to some useful/interesting/humorous websites that I have found in the past few days so enjoy.

Dane Cook is hilarious and I recommend buying his new CD/DVD, if you do not buy this I swear to God I will stab you in the jaw.

Face it, guys are retards. This apology note generator will help you get out of the dog house.

Download full albums here.

I wish they had this available when I still believed in Santa. Unveiling the "Dear Santa" letter generator.

That's all for today, enjoy and I'm sure I'll be seeing most of the people who will read this later on tonight seeing as though there are only about four people who visit this site with any sort of regularity.

Do I Look Like a Slut?

Well, I haven't posted anything in a while so since I'm just sitting here doing nothing I figured I would take the opportunity to post a few interesting things I found while tooling around on the web. I also feel obligated to let you all know that the Coldplay show on Thrusday was absolutely fantastic, even though my throat is killing me and I have a strong suspicion that I am getting progressively worse as time goes on. Anyway, on with all the useless links I have found while scouring the web for your viewing pleasure.

Avenue D is a pop duo who have some interesting songs such as "Do I Look Like a Slut?", "Orgasmatron" and the classic "2 Drunk 2 Fuck"

Make a lethal laser pointed pencil gun next time you're bored!

Any movie that has the title of "Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life" must be Oscar worthy material, but you can decide for yourself after you read this review

And finally, a Coldplay X&Y album art generator. Now you can make your very own coded messages just like the one Coldplay employs on their new album!

I wish they made Novacaine for the soul...

This weekend has been nothing short of an amazing descent into the dark world of decadence and selfishness and I absolutely loved every single minute of it. I'm not apologizing for anything or to anyone. I had a fucking blast. I've been screwing around with webshots so I can post up the pictures I took but they're not sending me my "confirmation e-mail" so unfortunately I can't log in so I can upload them. Once I get it up and running I'll make sure to post the link so you all can check them out. Anyway, just a quick post today as I am hopefully going to go see The Devil's Rejects tonight. So I am going to leave you with a few interesting little articles and such.

Congrats to Frankie Muniz although I absolutely loathe him.

Even prehistoric people were perverts.

Not sure how I particularly feel about this.

And this picture just creeps me out for some reason.

Here is an interesting little picture of Matt LeBlanc, better known as Joey on television's Friends. And yes, he is peeing. I suppose you can't blame him, I mean he's only human right? What I don't understand is the fact that he seems to be the owner of the gayest fucking dog in America. I never really thought of Matt as the manliest of men but come on. What the fuck is that thing? A sewer rat? Another thing that bothers me is the fact that when you're as insanely rich as Matt LeBlanc there's really no reason for you to be peeing in public. If I had that kind of money I would just hire a little servant midget to follow me around with a toilet at all times. Now that I think about it, I'd probably buy a little helper monkey like the one in that episode of The Simpsons. Then I would dress him up like a pirate and give him a little sword so he could run around and stab people.

There's lots of different paths to the waterfall...

So it was a rather uneventful weekend. Nothing really happened, at least nothing interesting enough to merit a post. I did however see Wedding Crashers which was surprisingly funny. I have to admit I wasn't too impressed with the previews that I had seen and I thought it was going to be another let down like Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. Vince Vaughn's performance in Wedding Crashers is more than worth the price of admission. He has totally redeemed himself since his disappointingly un-funny role in Dodgeball. To make a long story short, go see it, I promise you won't be disappointed. Since we're on the subject of Wedding Crashers I have to point out this disturbing/interesting little article I found about co-star Owen Wilson.
http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/003172.html
It's probably one of the weirdest things I've ever heard anyone say and personally I'm not even really sure what he's talking about.

But the world just isn't as interesting when you're sober...

So a few of my friends and I are out last night, getting a bite to eat and having a few drinks when my buddy Dan starts to tell us how his boss told him that he had received five (5) complaints about him from his fellow co-workers. Apparently their complaints all stemmed from the fact that Dan was showing up to work inebriated everyday. He went on to tell us that he thinks that this happened because he fell off of a ladder last week (he paints) and brought a whole bunch of paint down along with him. And he also fell off a step stool and spilled paint all over himself. As hilarious as this all is the best part is when he pulled out the letter his boss had written that was attached to his paycheck. So with great pleasure I present to you the infamous "Dear Dan" letter.

Dan,
I have received 5 complaints about you from people at the paint store as well as Oscar. All complaints boil down to your partying. If you would like to discuss this with me, I will describe each complaint to you and who said them. Each person didn't want to talk about not using you as an employee, but they were generally concerned for your well being. I observed the same type of behavior with you and it ended abruptly when you totaled your Mercedes. I would not bother writing this letter to you unless I genuinely cared about you. You know you have been fucking up a little lately and I see you have gotten it together a little. You must from here on out, show up to work on time and in good shape. You are not on my workers comp so remember, if you ever get hurt on my jobsite you must say its your 1st day working for me. If you say this I can then put you on payroll and get all medical expenses taken care of. Also you would receive a paycheck for the time you miss from being hurt from workers comp. In summation, I don't want to hear from anyone that you seemed out of it or on drugs from anyone again. If it happens again you will force me to do something very difficult. If you were not my boy things would be different. I know you are a great worker and really want you to stay.

Sincerely, Dan's Boss

And to top it all off for today here is an interesting little article that details the 40 (technically 39) things that can only happen in the faux-reality of the movies.

http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/features/20moviethings.htm

I am the Warrior...

I find that those silly seizure-inducing ipod commercials that feature "hip" new tracks from some of today's biggest musical superstars while the silhouettes of young hipsters twist and contort their bodies into positions previously unknown to man against a backdrop of ever changing colors familiar to those present in a roll of Lifesavers to be particularly annoying. I was, however extremely amused when I saw this on a recent episode of Fox's Family Guy. I have to admit, Seth MacFarlane is one creative dude and Stewie is one of my all-time favorite television characters, animated or otherwise. Have fun with this one (and make sure the volume is up). http://stewieipodcommercial.ytmnd.com/

Rap Snacks?

This is one of the most disturbing (and yet strangely hilarious) things I have ever come across on the internet. It has to be one of the most shameless American marketing schemes I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. This is capitalism at it's worst folks. Be prepared to be shocked and apalled. Imagine you're at your local 7-11. You're casually browsing through the plentiful snacks that they have available. You're not exactly sure what you're craving, but you'll know it once you see it. You pass by the Milky Ways and all their creamy caramel goodness. You press on forward past the sugary explosion that is Fun-Dip. You manuever into the chip aisle ignoring the omnious stares of the creepy mustachioed caricatures plastered on the dozens of Pringles cans until finally, you see Master P, staring at you with his platinum grill from a bag of chips. Yes thats right a bag of chips. Rap Snacks are crappy, unhealthy garbage that hopefully the white suburban children will be dumb enough to buy. These things have to be the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Just take a look at the flavors. Platinum Bar-B-Que? Southern Crunk Bar-B-Que? Red Hot Ripplets? Honey Dew Cheese Curls? Hot Cheezie Popcorn? Slasa Cheese? (And my personal favorite) The ever mysterious Back At The Ranch. What on Earth can these things possibly taste like? Do these "flavors" actually sound appetizing to anyone? If you thought that was bad just wait until you see all of the hip hop stars that have come out to endorse this ridiculous product. Now granted I'm not a rap fan so please correct me if I'm wrong, but has anyone ever heard of "Pastor Troy"? Or "Pretty Willie"? How about "Ms. Toy"? "Magic" anyone? You really have to see this site for yourself in order to fully appreciate it's inate silliness.
http://www.rapsnacks.com
And just in case any of you wanted to purchase any of these delicious products
http://www.rapsnacks.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv

Live 8 Video Downloads

Here's a link to a website that is hosting downloads of the AOL video clips from the Live 8 concert series last week. I recommend taking a look at Coldplay performing Bittersweet Symphony with Richard Ashcroft.
http://www.sonician.com/live8/list.html
Don't be lazy, show your support. It takes about six seconds (literally)
http://www.live8live.com/list/